Apr 8, 2011

Devil in Yogi's Clothing

This Superstore receipt tells it all. Even the fact that it's a Real Canadian Superstore receipt instead of the Duncan Garage says enough. But here's what's on it:
1/2 pound of bulk mini-chocolate eggs, two and a half pounds) of Doritos/Cheetos snack mix, tortillas, juice, 2 pounds of no-name-brand chocolate chips, and a dozen half-price hamburger buns.

Blame it on my yoga instructor. I was hungry, lonely, and totally wiped out from 90 minutes of doing things a body isn't really meant to anywhere, let alone in a very hot room. Then she not only offered me an easter egg, but told me where to get them in bulk. All noble thoughts of supporting our amazing local Community Farm Store were gone faster than you can say Cadbury Easter Cream Eggs.

What is it about my wife being away that makes these lapses in consciousness, integrity and basic good taste so tempting? I don't eat local and organic and fair trade to impress her - they really are my own rules. But somehow time alone equates to a glorious orgy of lack of accountability.

Unless I blog about it. Honestly, sharing this is more difficult and humiliating than my naked posts about bullying, sex, social insecurity, etc. I don't pretend to be perfect, and even deliberately publicize my chocolate addiction or bad movie choices just to make sure that no-one thinks I think I'm operating on a higher level. But late at night when I come to bed with cocoa-maplesyrup-yogurt-granola on my breath, I really hope Sarah doesn't notice. It's one thing to let myself down, but to betray our entire family's code is much bigger and harder to own up to.

Character is what you do when no-one's watching
. Probably the scariest quote I ever saved, and one I do try to live up to. This first week on my own I've been incredibly disciplined, eating mostly healthy homemade food, balancing computer work with gardening bliss, enjoying just a few too many sitcom reruns but still getting through the ambitious task list that I deeply want to be done with. If this $22.60 investment in the Real Canadian Superstore is my one big flame-out, I reckon the world will keep turning.

Oh, the other thing I was too embarrassed to fess up to was the movie I watched last week. If you must know, it was Ten - put into my head by my numerology visitor, but once Bo Derek's cornrows (among other notable assets) are in a man's head they just have to be exorcised.

Enough about embarrassing myself by living down to my expectations. Tomorrow I'll return to Walden; tonight's all about me and a quarter pound of Frito's and Fight Club. Show starts in 10 minutes so come on over if you're bored - you know there's enough junk food to last the night.


  1. My thoughts on eating junk food from time to time:

    If you live in a desert and never eath junk food, that's natural. If you live in a modern urban environment SURROUNDED by junk/fast/not-so- healthy food and you never take a few bites, that's odd.

    Is it a good idea to find doors in your mind and your existence and close them completely, with silicon in the cracks and weatherproof tape around the edges? Sometimes, I guess, like with addiction. Not too many, though.

  2. Hmm, i suppose hyper-purity could be its own addiction. In which case, 2.5 pounds of Doritos is an indicator of health.

    Ironically, last night after writing i ended up playing piano - no movies or junk food. Maybe the writing just shed enough light that the shadow lost its force for a while.

  3. Well Rick, James and I were discussing 'slip-ups' (you're blog was in the converstaion), as we were were driving home, enjoying a coffee chocolate milkshake and an Cadbury Cream Egg Flurry...from that dreaded M place. Our conclusion was these things happen, we're not perfect, and we shouldn't feel guilty but just move on and allow a longer space of time to lapse before we do it again. Oh, plan ahead too, that way you don't get caught out hungry.

    James and I will join you for Fight Club and junk! You should come to ours, we've got a great TV for it!! That way, you can use the 'building community' and 'engaging in philisophical discussion' excuse.

  4. Remember Chantey's well-worn words of wisdom: If you eat it with love & intention, then it is good.

  5. yes sazza/chantey, and if i eat it with cammy and james then it's even gooder.

  6. Character is what you do when no-one's watching.

    Thanks for sharing Rick. Okay everyone... I keep my personal email, twitter and facebook open while I work. OKAY! Now you know. *glances around the office, shoves tiny piece of chocolate stash into her mouth*

    Guilty as charged,