Virgin blogger

Why am I afraid to start typing? OK, not afraid, but tentative. Like something monumental has to come out in the first paragraph or this whole "Writer" identity will be a fake or a failure. It's not like I haven't written before, or shared before, or walked naked through throngs of strangers well-suited or muddy-buddied or just plain confused or lost. But this is a start of something new. Something I've promised myself and the members of the world who care to listen for years and journeys through many lands and hearts. A grand (big and sweeping and majestic) sharing of me and what I've learned. What I hope can and will inspire others on their own journeys.

It will, I believe, lead to a book, to talks, to story-tellings, to so many ways to connect with others. But a book is just a collection of words, ideas, snippets, little revolutions all tied together with some form of narrative that will reveal itself over time, so I'll do this in pieces. In entries, in stories, in quotes and links and clever rejoinders, hoping and believing that these disparate splashes of paint will all come together into a portrait with meaning, with hope, and above all, with questions.

It's 9:00 and the boys are asleep, Sarah teaching, and all I want to do is keep writing, so much bursting to come out, and part of me fears to use it all up in the first hour and run dry. Another part of me wants to create a long list of topics and writing ideas so that my promise of posting twice a week won't generate a semi-weekly crisis of "What do I have to say?!" And still I'm stuck with not knowing what the first thing to share is - something current like how it felt making ferry reservations today for our big move - some overall sweeping generalizations about where I'm at in my life and where I came from - more promises and explanations of what this is - or just something poetic and beautiful.

Instead I'll let this just sit, let me go and play some piano and pack a box to make Sarah happy and look forward to seeing what this evolves into, and whom it brings into my life.